HTSFLS by Andrea Owen Chapters 5-7

Chapter 5 ~ The Demolition Derby of Your Life: Self-Sabotage

“Look at your past and the time when you feel you’ve sabotaged your life. […] Ask yourself: What am I actually avoiding?” (75).

Make two lists (76):

  • List what you really want.
  • Make a list of what you’re afraid might happen if you get these things.

“Getting crystal clear on what exactly you’re afraid of will get you closer to healing it. You can’t fix what you don’t know is tripping you up” (77).

Chapter 6 ~ Feeling Like a Fraud: The Imposter Complex

“…you can realize you do in fact have some legitimate skills and expertise. Because, listen: you do” (85).


“The way you speak about yourself out loud to others isn’t for their benefit; it’s for yours” (85).

Accepting Positive Feedback (86-87):

  1. Hear the positive feedback and just assume the person is sincere–try pausing.
  2. What if you listened to the praise and took it for what it actually is–someone giving you a gift?

“Making mistakes doesn’t make you a fake. Being wrong doesn’t make you a fraud. Being imperfect doesn’t make you an imposter. All that means is that you’re a human being just like the rest of us. Mostly trying your best, stumbling through life, getting a lot of things right, getting some things wrong, just like everyone else” (88).


“Challenging your too-high standards requires becoming aware of what you’re making up in your head and challenging those beliefs. There’s a solid chance you won’t believe the new standards are okay, but you’re trying” (90).

Chapter 7 ~ The Dog and Pony Show: People Pleasing and Approval Seeking

“You are not responsible for other people’s feelings. As long as you have conducted yourself in a way you are proud of, their feelings are their own, and at the end of the day, you don’t have any control over them” (96).


“As a people pleaser and/or approval seeker, it’s imperative you become familiar with the issues you have” (100).


“Part of boundaries is being able to say no and having it just be a no” (102).


“…other people are not going to change if they don’t know what they’re doing is bothering you” (103).


“What you want and need in your life is just as important as what the next person wants” (104).


“One of the toughest things about setting boundaries is not being attached to the outcome” (106).

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this post and use some of this insight on your own happy and healthy adventure. 🙂 ❤


Owen, A. (2017). How to stop feeling like shit: 14 habits that are holding you back from happiness. Berkeley, CA: SEAL PRESS

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