HTSFLS by Andrea Owen Chapters 2-4

Chapter 2 ~ Go Away and Leave Me Alone: Isolating and Hiding Out Isn’t Protecting You

“I promise that by practicing vulnerability over and over again, through some trial and tribulation, you will get the love and connection you so truly want and deserve” (29).


“This is about telling someone your experience so you can sort out your feelings. It’s about someone bearing witness to your struggle. About being seen and heard in your pain” (33).


“Anyone who truly cares about you will be happy to know exactly what it is you need and how to make you feel good” (35).


“Remember–you deserve to ask for what you need!” (37).

Chapter 3 ~ Checking Out: Are Your Numbing Mechanisms Still Working for You? 

“…we numb ourselves because we don’t want to feel” (41).


“Whether you numb out because you hate your life or just to cope, the remedy is to look at all the troubles you don’t want to, walk through the struggle and feel it, and keep moving forward” (43).

Stop Numbing Tools (48-53):

  1. Name the feelings out loud when they come up.
  2. “Controlled emoting”: Pick your place and allow your emotions to roll over you.
  3. Understand that your experience may be confusing.
  4. Accept that your feelings are deserving of existence in the first place.
  5. Notice if you’re taking on people’s prescriptions of your feelings.
  6. Get curious about them.
  7. Talk your feelings out.
  8. Learn to trust yourself and your feelings.

“It’s the fear of the unknown that frightens you the most, and I assure you, what you really want–for that hurt to subside–is on the other side of letting the emotions happen” (55).


“It’s knowing my feelings are what they are, and aren’t wrong” (56).

Chapter 4 ~ Compare and Despair: The Never-ending Mind [F***]

“Work on feeling proud of yourself” (65).


“You giving yourself permission to sink into the satisfaction of your achievements will help you start to manage the comparisons that are bringing your down” (66).


Thanks for reading this post–I hope you enjoyed it and can use some of the ideas presented on your own happy and healthy adventure. 🙂 ❤

Owens, A. (2017). How to stop feeling like shit: 14 habits that are holding you back from happiness. Berkeley, CA: SEAL PRESS

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