13 Things by Amy Morin – Chapter 10

“They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure”

“Failing can actually be a wonderful experience – but only if you move forward with the knowledge you gain from it” (184).

This chapter has been my favorite so far in the book – it resonated with me and I think many readers will experience resonance with the topic of this chapter as well. I was recently accepted for graduate school, but with many failures to proceed it. I had applied at more than 10 schools for graduate programs, but failed each time. From each failure, I took something from it and improved my application – and now look where I am. I hope you all enjoy this post and don’t ever give up even when you fail on your happy and healthy adventure. 🙂 ❤

“Grit, defined as perseverance and passion for long-term goals, has been shown to be a much more accurate predictor of achievement than IQ” (186).

Grit is so important – it combines perseverance and passion together, which leads to success. You have to keep trying and love whatever it is in order to reach your long-term goals. It doesn’t matter if you have a high IQ score – success comes if you work for it.

“Self-compassion means viewing your failures kindly yet realistically. It means understanding that everyone has shortcomings, including you, and that failure doesn’t decrease your worth as a person” (188).

Self-compassion is difficult to practice – at least, it was for me when I started on this graduate school application process. However, I learned it’s important to have compassion towards yourself and it allows you to continue striving towards your goals.

“Learning how to persevere despite failure increases your mental strength over time as you recognize how failure can improve your performance” (193).

Along with making mistakes and learning from them, learning from and moving on from your failures helps you to become mentally strong.

What’s Helpful (194):

  • Viewing failure as a learning opportunity
  • Resolving to try again if your first attempt was not successful
  • Facing your fear of failure
  • Developing a new plan to increase your chance of success
  • Identifying and replacing irrational thoughts about failure
  • Focusing on improving your skills rather than showing them off

What’s NOT Helpful (194-195):

  • Allowing failure to stop you from reaching your goals
  • Considering future attempts to be a lost cause if your first attempt wasn’t successful
  • Quitting because you don’t want to tolerate discomfort
  • Defining a task as impossible because it didn’t work the first time
  • Allowing yourself to think that failure is worse than it is
  • Refusing to participate in tasks where you are not likely to excel

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