13 Things by Amy Morin – Chapter 7

“They Don’t Dwell on The Past”

“You can choose to start living in the moment” (131).

What’s the point of living in the past if we were given today? People that are mentally strong focus on the present and don’t stay stuck in the past. I hope you enjoy this post and remember to channel in on your present happy and healthy adventure. 🙂 ❤

Problems with dwelling on the past (135-136):

  • You miss out on the present
  • Dwelling on the past makes it impossible to adequately prepare for the future
  • Dwelling on the past interferes with your decision-making skills
  • Dwelling on the past doesn’t solve anything
  • Dwelling on the past can lead to depression
  • Romanticizing the past – the grass-is-greener philosophy – isn’t helpful
  • Dwelling on the past is bad for your physical health

Shift your thinking (137-139):

  • Schedule time to think about a past event
  • Give yourself something else to think about
  • Establish goals for the future
  • Focus on the lessons you learned
  • Think about the facts, not the emotion
  • Look at the situation differently

Making peace with the past (141-142):

  • Give yourself permission to move forward
  • Recognize the emotional toll of dwelling on the past versus moving forward
  • Practice forgiveness
  • Change behavior that keeps you stuck in the past
  • Seek professional help if necessary

What’s Helpful (144):

  • Reflecting on the past enough that you can learn from it
  • Moving forward in your life, even when it may be painful to do so
  • Actively working through grief so you can focus on the present and plan for the future
  • Thinking about negative events in terms of facts, not emotions
  • Finding ways to make peace with the past

What’s NOT Helpful (144-145):

  • Trying to pretend the past didn’t happen
  • Trying to prevent yourself from moving forward in life
  • Focusing on what you’ve lost in life without being able to live in the present
  • Replaying painful events in your mind repeatedly and focusing on how you felt during them
  • Trying to undo the past or make up for your past mistakes

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