13 Things by Amy Morin – Chapter 5

“They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone”

You’ve probably heard the saying, “You can’t please everyone – you aren’t a jar of Nutella” before. And it’s true – you can’t please everyone, because you’re not for everyone. And THAT’S fine because you were created to figure out what’s best for you and find people that support that. Even a jar of Nutella can’t please everyone, so… don’t bother trying because it will make you mentally stronger. I hope you enjoy this post and do what’s right for you on your happy and healthy adventure. 🙂 ❤

“Pleasing people will hold you back from reaching your full potential” (98).

Anything that holds you back from being your best self just isn’t worth it.

People pleasing truths (100-101):

  • Worrying about trying to please everyone is a waste of time
  • People pleasers are easily manipulated
  • It’s okay for other people to feel angry or disappointed
  • You can’t please everyone

“When you’re faced with decisions in your life, it’s important to know exactly what your values are so you can make the best choices” (101).

Whenever you make choices, always remember your values and beliefs; and also that decisions that are within your best interest aren’t selfish.

“…”this world is what one makes of it, and that one makes what one chooses. And that those choices were mine”” (Mose Gingerich, 106).

Your perspective on the world, situations you encounter, and your life are all yours. They may be influenced by others, but they are ultimately yours.

“Your words and your behavior must be in line with yours beliefs before you can begin to enjoy a truly authentic life” (106).

If you’re worrying about pleasing others, you’re not doing anything to benefit yourself, and you’re not being your best self and living what could be your best life by doing so.

Benefits (107-108):

  • Your self-confidence will soar
  • You’ll have more time and energy to devote to your goals
  • You’ll feel less stressed
  • You’ll establish healthier relationships
  • You’ll have increase willpower

What’s Helpful (108):

  • Identifying your values and behaving according to them
  • Being aware of your emotions before deciding whether to say yes to someone’s request
  • Saying no when you don’t want to do something
  • Practicing tolerating uncomfortable emotions associated with conflict and confrontation
  • Behaving assertively even when speaking up may not be well received

What’s NOT Helpful (108-109):

  • Losing sight of who you are and what your values are
  • Only considering someone else’s feelings without thinking about your emotions
  • Automatically accepting an invitation without considering whether it’s a good choice
  • Agreeing with people and complying with requests to avoid confrontation
  • Going along with the crowd or refusing to express any opinions that may go against what the majority of people think

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